10 Climbing Dad Jokes

My family recently developed a tradition in which my father will send a dad joke out to our family group chat each day. Many a bad day have seen a smile thanks to it... So, I decided I'd make a quick post to share a few of my own favorite cringe-inducing climbing jokes. Thanks to the people of Mountain Project for these! A few are of my own invention... they're especially high in "dad".

In no particular order:

1. (this is a modified version of my personal all-time favorite) I bought a pair of climbing shoes from a drug     dealer... I don't know what he laced them with but I was t-whippin' all day!

2. What does Batman say to Robin when he goes trad climbing?

    "I need my number two!"

3. What is Chris Sharma's favorite car?

    A PASSSATTT!

4. What is the difference between a sport climber and a skunk?

    You have to provoke the skunk to spray.

5. What do you call a climber who loses the belay tag off their harness on their first day of 

    outdoor climbing?

    A glum-by.

6. How many boulderers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    One, and 9 to cheer them on.

7. What does a Red River Gorge climber order for his wife when they go out on a date?

    Mi-gal's pizza. 

    (sorry... I came up with that one.)

8. What's the difference between a golfer and a climber?

    One goes whack, "Crap" and the other goes "Crap!" WHACK.

9. JTree will never flood... there's too many sandbags.

10. What did the boulder bro say when he climbed a highball?

      "Man! I was scared shirtless!"