How Much Fulfillment Comes From A 5.14?

 "Your grip is going to loosen, and then what are you going to hang on to?" 

-Ron Kauk

Kauk climbing Separate Reality (photo from Alpinist Magizine)

When Ron said these words in the Nugget Podcast's recent episode with him, I knew I had to write them down. So often, we attmept the hardest climbs, but why?

Patagonia put out a video asking people why they began climbing. If you watch you'll notice a common answer: "To push myself." 

When I began climbing I thought the same thing. If I ever wanted to get something out of it, I would have to do some insane grade. I began training, climbing all the time, and learning as many skills as I could  to reach this dream... When I finally sent a project, all I could think, "Was this really worth it?"

I visualized the moves, the details, and ultimately clipping the chains with a triumphant shout and a feeling of satisfaction. When I sent the moves, the placement of feet, and clips were quite similar to what I expected. But reaching the anchor wasn't what I thought it'd be. I simply... did it. Sure I was a bit excited about it, but then my thoughts turned to the next route. This send wasn't that hard, a soft 5.12 maybe... Keep training, put the time in, and do something harder! Surely a 5.13 would give me that true satisfaction I searched for?

Do we really get anything out of achieving our limit? If we manage to find it, where do we go from there? Does the journey of chasing goals just end? Can you just walk away from it then?

I am still learning to not go chasing for this supposed happiness that comes from sending something hard. I've learned that it doesn't come from that... There are those who've always said that it's about the journey, not the destination. I brushed it off.

Climbing for community, for the joy of being outside, and the process. They've always been there, just not my main motivation.

Hopefully I can climb for these other reasons... because I know satisfaction for me will never come from sending 5.14.

Adam Ondra after flashing Supercrakinette. He once said, "...between becoming a double world champion to climbing 9b+ or onsighting 9a, I can’t really tell what has more value. Every experience, every route, and every competition are different and special." "There are moments when I’m high on the rock, and I’m enjoying every move, every handhold, every foothold." (Climbing Magizine)

Every moment matters.