It’s Not You, It’s Your Belay: When To

Is your partner as encouraging as this Kleenex wrapper?

Here’s a quick shorty, sorry that it’s a bit late for the topic…

The author of a recent forum post on Mountain Project titled Should I Break Up With My Climbing Partner? asked the all-knowing armchair community if they should stop climbing with a partner of 3 years. They cited several incidents at the gym of bad belaying that lost them their certification and heart in mouth moments rappelling an outdoor route. Given this context, the author asked whether it would be a good idea to continue climbing with said partner. 

Several good points were brought up by responders. Here are a few that serve as good red flags: 

Do they accept feedback? A mistake can be costly, but it’s also a learning experience. If they don’t give it some serious reflection, they run the risk of it happening again, a situation illustrated above.

Is there communication about any issues? If you feel uncomfortable confronting them about a matter of personal safety, then perhaps it is in your best interest to pipe up or end it. As one response by Mike K put it, “[Y]our physical safety is more important than some social awkwardness.”

If they’re a bad belayer, go bouldering with them. I smiled at Big Red’s suggestion of this on the forum, but he is right. I have partners who I don’t feel very comfortable trying hard on a project with, but for chill cragging they’re great. Some partners are better for certain situations.

In the end, your safety is dependant on your partner. And if you train, so are the hours you’ve spent on the hangboard. A good belay or an encouraging spot can uplift your performance, lead head, and enjoyment of climbing. So if these things are at risk, take steps to combat any problems in your belaytionship.